Name: Suggestive accessories.
Age: At least as old as the codpiece.
Appearance: On the one hand, only a little bit of ordinary ornament. But then again …
But however what? Something else altogether.
OK, but like what? You know what I imply.
I actually don’t know what you’re speaking about. For instance: the cheeky phallic pendant Harry Styles wore to the 2021 Grammys.
Phallic how? It featured a penis rising from a banana peel.
That doesn’t sound suggestive – it sounds utterly unmistakable. Well, how in regards to the suggestion that Liz Truss was signalling a submissive kink by carrying an O-ring necklace?
Was this some sort of universally recognised bondage gear? No, it was Cartier.
So far, I’m unsure your examples support your premise. Oh yeah? What about Prue Leith’s ball-gag necklace?
You mean Dame Prue Leith from Bake Off? That’s the one.
And a ball gag? Social media was abuzz when she appeared on Sunday night’s episode of The Great British Bake Off: Stand Up to Cancer carrying an enormous orange ball on a stout wire around her neck.
What did they say? “Why is Prue wearing a ball gag?!” was one not atypical reaction.
I saw that episode and I additionally observed that necklace. Didn’t you discover it highly suggestive of something?
Yes. It jogged my memory of a kind of lanyards people put boat keys on in order that they float in the event that they fall overboard. It didn’t make you think of BDSM?
Unless that stands for boat deck security management, then no. But it seemed similar to a ball gag, with a ball and everything!
If she was carrying a regular scarf, would you think it was a regular gag? I’m unsure you understand how suggestiveness works.
I’m unsure you perceive how accessories work. And, should you examine, you’ll see that Leith wore an similar spheroid necklace on GBBO in 2017. And nobody stated anything?
Actually, everyone mentioned it seemed like a ball gag then as properly. But that’s Twitter for you: quick memories, dirty minds. How dare you attempt to kink-shame the internet.
How dare you impugn the popularity of Leith, who, I’ll wager, has never misplaced a set of boat keys in her life. I’ll keep my ideas to myself in future.
Do say: “It’s beautiful – very brilliant, chunky and structural.”
Don’t say: “I’m just nervous it clashes together with your vulva brooch.”
